Sailing with Friends
Sailing is fun. Hanging out with friends and family is fun. Putting the two together? Well, that can get difficult. As much as we may imagine an idyllic day on the water, sailing with family and friends can sometimes be anything but. This article will explore some of the most common pitfalls of taking those we are related to (and may even love) out for a three-hour tour.
The first common mistake is taking family and friends out on an unfamiliar boat. Whether the skipper is a newly minted Bareboat graduate on a different boat or a more experienced captain who just has never been on a particular vessel, an unfamiliar boat can add another level of stress to taking others on the water. Both scenarios often happen with family and friends on board as these situations usually come up soon after a sailor gains credentials to take out a larger boat or is on vacation.
While this mistake cannot always be avoided (otherwise you could never charter another boat!), there are some ways to minimize the headache. First, show up to the boat early. For day charters, show up in the morning even if you aren’t expecting to spend the whole day on the water. Getting to the boat around 9:30-10 AM, with the rest of your crew arriving closer to noon may seem excessive, but this extra time allows you to review all the boat systems, test the reefing mechanism, and generally just get used to the boat. By the time your crew arrives, you’ll have everything set to go, and instead of fielding a million iterations of the question “how can I help?” when your crew arrives you can throw off the docklines and depart. For longer charters, most bases allow you to arrive the day before and spend the night on the boat in the harbor at the base. Take them up on this opportunity to spend an entire afternoon/evening with the boat without the rest of the crew around to truly understand all the systems on board. For a longer charter, this is doubly important as you are more likely to find any issues now, instead of at your first anchorage.
The second common mistake is thinking your friends actually want to sail hard. No matter how much they may say it, very few people actually want to spend the day heeled over at 30 degrees bashing up wind, broaching downwind and getting dunked, or tacking 30 times up a narrow channel. These activities, as sailors know, are completely normal, but for landlubbers, apparently cause quite consternation. When friends are on board, use the martini glass test—if you can’t set a martini glass on the table, you’re probably sailing too hard. Remember, most people will not tell you they are scared/nervous/not feeling well. You have to be aware and always sail MUCH more conservatively than if you were by yourself or with sailing friends. The goal is get back to the dock with smiles on everyone’s faces, not the looks of just surviving a harrowing adventure.
The last common mistake is barking orders at your new crew. Never assume (1) new crew want to help or (2) new crew even know what to do. Many people want to just relax on a boat, soak up the sun, and enjoy the time on the water, not try to increase their VMG by another 0.2 knots (I know, gasp!). To keep the new crew working at a minimum, make sure you have enough competent crew on board to help with all aspects of the sail, including docking and undocking, tacking, jibing, and reefing. On some boats, this could be just you (but beware of hubris, not many people can sail a boat by themselves with other people on board). Often it means one or even two other competent sailors that you have ideally worked with before. The more comfortable you are with them, the more smoothly everything will go, which will translate into a much more pleasant day on the water for all.
Sailing with friends doesn’t have to be scary—just with all things sailing, with proper prior planning, you can prevent perplexing problems and be able to take your friends on wonderful cruises that will get them excited about coming out again.